Go with your gut, if you can't go with your heart, or your head

Hey, Lisa,

Yeah that's a good question. I can only assume that it was my refusal to condone an extramarital affair broke us up for good. It wasn't going to be an indiscretion, she claimed that she was "in love" with another man and that's where I failed her.

Yes, I've considered our own history in this realm. And I know that you asked me about this from my perspective, but I'm hesitant to respond partly because I don't know much of the history of these two people who are close to you. I don't even know either person's side of the story. 

You wanted my viewpoint, but I don't know that I can offer you advice.

All I can say is that I think that you have to go with you gut on this one, if you are not comfortable with going with your heart, or your head. You can call it an ethical question, or a moral one, but marriage is difficult and decisions about relationships are not as cut-and-dried as those about which car to drive, or as easy as weighing pros and cons of a job offer. 

I am surprised that you have asked me about this. 

You have first-hand experience. What was it like when you and Dave got together? It was a very long time ago, but try to behave with your friend as you would have wanted us to have reacted when Dave broke the news to Caroline.