Expectation of Self



You ought to give yourself a break. I think you are being to hard on yourself.

Do you really have all that guilt about returning to school because it takes you away from your family?

Despite what any self-help book will tell you, it's tough to schedule time to yourself whether it's to study or meditate. It's true, when the kids are young--toddlers, newborns, school age--it doesn't matter, we're always exhausted--emotionally and physically--and then it's the teenage years and then...what?

What comes next? Does it really continue in their 20s???

I recall rewriting sections of my first book (drafted during the early stages of my pregnancy), late at night after the baby arrived because Drew always did the five a.m. feeding, so I could get at least four or five hours of sleep. So, there I was, in front of the computer, entering editorial changes from midnight until two a.m.

Hardly the ideal way to carry on with a newborn in the house. I finally had to set it aside to work on when I returned to work six months later. I was surprised at how little I was willing to change my lifestyle.

Could it be that's what's going on with you? It takes time to adjust to a new lifestyle.

The kids need time to adjust, too. They'll come around.

From the Inside Out

Caroline, Carol, Caro,

The weight will come off. It will. Don't focus on it.

And yes, I'd be the first to admit that I do easily accept counsel, or the well-meaning advice of colleagues (which is never well meaning, is it? It's always meant to bully, or put you in your place to make them feel better about themselves, more secure in their positions).

Moreover (you heard me), I dislike commentary about anyone else's body as much as I dislike someone picking on my own physical shortcomings. If you feel no one has applauded your mini-success, let me set you straight: you are awesome for quitting smoking. That's a huge accomplishment. One that will pay dividends as you try to get pregnant; the cravings will go away just as the weird ones arrive in the first trimester.



I've been thinking about what you said, and here's something that expresses what I think you've been feeling:
For me, as for many women, work means necessary income. For a writer, work is also emotional and intellectual survival: it is who I am. I don't stop working, and reworking, and publishing fiction.
---Louise Erdich
The Blue Jays Dance
That's how it feels to me. Does it ring true for you, too?