Sunday

I know exactly what you mean

Heather,

I know exactly what you mean! It is important to hear nice things from our friends occasionally. And yes it's especially wonderful when you're feeling down. So, you're still at the precipice of d-i-v-o-r-ce?

I'm sorry. You did ask for advice and I chickened out. I'm not sure that I really have the right, even as a friend and someone who cares about you to say: "Yes, you should leave him!" or "No, everyone deserves a second chance."

Remember when Caroline and Dave split up and Lisa and Dave got together?

Everyone had strong opinions about who was right and who was wrong and what a loser Dave was and it seems that every single person we knew felt obligated to tell Caro what to think (about Dave, later about Lisa) and no one asked Caroline how she felt.

We all assumed she was pissed and hurt and humiliated, but later we learned how relieved she was because she and Dave had realized their mistake in moving in together too soon, but neither one was going to end what should have ended long ago.

After all that was said, we still had to see Dave in social situations, so it made me personally uncomfortable to see Dave and Lisa in social situations knowing how much Emery despised Dave for leaving Caro.

Now, I understand that she had been dealing with a cheating husband for years (and let's face it, her own indiscretions), but then the whole situation made me thoroughly uncomfortable.

If Steve isn't cheating, or if he did once and he claims it was only once and you are willing to forgive him and his actions and both of you can move on, then who am I to say you should march straight to a lawyer and file for divorce?

Each person's situation is different. Lisa and Dave seemed to have made a nice life for themselves.

And Caroline recovered from that breakup fairly quickly. By that, I mean she moved on without remorse and was out dating within a month. She'd be the first to tell you that she was secretly happy when Lisa and Dave hooked up because he was such a nice guy that she wanted him to be happy. She didn't want to hurt him.

As I say, each situation is different. Lisa was in love with Dave, Caro was not.

So I must ask the question then: Are you still in love with Steve?