I guess. I was trying to explain Heather that I failed two close friends in similar circumstances because I listened, commiserated, and compared. I failed them when I supported their inaction.
In retrospect, I think I failed because I did not support their feelings.
It didn't matter if they wanted advice, like Lisa did, or they wanted to start love affairs with married men. It was not about giving my permission, which is what I initially thought. I did not allow my friends a safe place to express their fragility.
It was a great lesson for me, but I don't know if I've even learned it, because here we are; it just happened again recently with Lisa.
Although I promised myself it would never happen again.