our imagination can get away from us


Discovering that friends deal with these same issues helps us to accept the events, of course. Our siblings (and spouses, sometimes our children) will tell us that we are "making things up" or "imagining" the slight, but what they likely trying to say is that our perception of the events may be skewed. We take more on that we need to.

It's not "all in your head." Or is it?

Did he specifically say that that was the reason?

If it's acknowledged, has the lesson been learned?

Dear Lorelei,

I guess. I was trying to explain Heather that I failed two close friends in similar circumstances because I listened, commiserated, and compared. I failed them when I supported their inaction.

In retrospect, I think I failed because I did not support their feelings.

It didn't matter if they wanted advice, like Lisa did, or they wanted to start love affairs with married men. It was not about giving my permission, which is what I initially thought. I did not allow my friends a safe place to express their fragility.

It was a great lesson for me, but I don't know if I've even learned it, because here we are; it just happened again recently with Lisa.

Although I promised myself it would never happen again.

If it's right for you


Okay. I'm glad that we got that sorted. Because you specifically asked, I will say that I think what you have decided is right because it's right for you.